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artificialqueens · 5 years ago

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Case Closed (Part 1/2) - Shalaska - pureCAMP

A/N - So… guess who watched Brooklyn 99 and then decided to… make something…

It was me. I did that.

So, to preface - I made this inspired by (as you’ll see when you read) Jake and Amy, but not entirely because I like to make my own characters. Anyway, here’s the one where the gang are detectives.

(Also, this will be submitted in two parts consecutively. It was intended to be a oneshot, but it’s… you know… 18.5k words. I really don’t know either. Happy quarantine and much love to any key workers, affected students or teachers out there <3

It was a perfectly normal day in the precinct and Alaska was forty minutes late to work.

In some of her previous jobs, such as waitressing in that horrible little restaurant or working as a store clerk as a teenager, being forty minutes late would almost certainly mean being fired. However, Alaska revelled in the fact that she would most definitely not be fired for her tardiness, and she grinned proudly as she was met with polite applause.

The gentleman who she led in with cuffs behind her didn’t seem quite so receptive to her hero’s welcome.

“Check out this punk,” Alaska announced to the room. “Busted with two hundred kilos of cocaine in his storage unit and found to be the asshole behind that huge drug ring we’ve been tracking. Proud of yourself, bud?”

As expected, her roughed-up drug dealer said nothing, staring fixedly at his reflection in the handcuffs.

“Good work, Detective Thunder.” Captain Tidicue nodded, impressed. “Take him to the holding cell, meeting in five minutes in the break room. Dismissed.”

It was a perfectly normal day, Alaska’s perp was in the holding cell, and as she stepped into the break room, she bumped shoulders with Jinkx.

“Detective Tsunami.”

“Detective Lightning.”

Jinkx’s smile, as always, seemed to stretch from ear to ear and her lipstick was eerily red. Captain Tidicue had tried a few times to get her to tone down the brightness of her makeup, but eventually she had gotten so fond of Jinkx that she let the matter go entirely. Jinkx seemed to get away with a lot of things in that way, and Alaska loved her for it. As a matter of fact, so did the rest of the squad.

Captain Tidicue closed the door behind them and took her place at the front of the room. There was absolutely nothing extraordinary about a normal morning briefing, even if Alaska had been forty minutes late. That happened sometimes and nobody minded. Everything was normal.

“Good morning everybody. I wanted to let you know that we’ll be welcoming a new detective to our squadron beginning today. She’s experienced and smart and she just moved into the area, I think she’ll be a good addition to our team. I want you all to welcome her.” Tidicue smiled. “I know you will. Let her adapt to our ways, yeah? Make her one of us. Anyway, Detective Needles is on her way now. Dismissed.”

She headed off, leaving the rest of the team to break out into excited discussions, with zero intention of running straight to their desks. Jinkx turned to Alaska with a loud laugh.

“Short, sweet, concise. Never thought I’d see that from a New Yorker.” She quipped.

Alaska chuckled. “Okay, Chicago, calm down.”

“Whatever, Pennsylvania.” Jinkx paused. “Fuck, that isn’t nearly as insulting even though we’re just naming states.”

From across the room, Sergeant Royale beckoned the two of them over, where she was chatting with Detectives Velour, Coulee and Michaels. Inexplicably, Willam, the notoriously work-shy secretary, had also managed to sneak her way in and was perched on the table, right in the midst of the conversation.

“So! New detective, huh? Things are getting exciting round here.” Latrice fought back her laugh as Alaska, rising to the bait despite knowing it had been laid there just to get her, opened her mouth.

“Hey! I literally just busted a massive drug trafficking ring! Is that not exciting?”

The squad laughed, and Alaska acquiesced with a giggle. “But seriously? Detective Needles? Do you think she’s just really good at drug cases or what?”

A new voice appeared suddenly. “Well, yeah. But unfortunately that’s my actual name.”

Alaska whirled around and promptly smashed foreheads with possibly the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen. The woman in question reeled backwards slightly and started to rub her head, but offered her hand and a charming smile regardless.

“Detective Needles. Your story is pretty impressive, I’m sorry that my name is stealing your thunder.”

Alaska started to giggle in spite of herself. “Oh my god, this is brilliant. Hi, Detective Needles, I’m Detective Thunder.”

“You’re shitting me. That’s such a fucking cool name.”

“And Needles isn’t?”

“Yours is cooler.”

“No way!” Alaska faced her colleagues again. “Am I really arguing with someone about whose name is cooler and I’m not on my own side? Jinkx, slap me.”

Jinkx raised her hand. “Gladly!”

Before she could deliver what was sure to be an almighty sobering smack, Latrice butted in with a calming hand and her ever-diplomatic ways. “The only way to solve this is by first names. At the same time, go.”

“Alaska.”

“Sharon. Fuck!”

Sharon crossed her arms over her chest as Alaska celebrated her victory. “God, I hate my parents right now. They gave me the most suburban white mom name ever.”

Thus began Alaska’s first triumph over Sharon Needles. Sharon Needles, who was a detective, who would be working a few feet across the room from her now, who was surprisingly tall and with dark curls that really suited her face and eyes that were surprisingly sparkly even though she seemed like she would be quite intimidating in the interrogation room and a leather jacket that made her look so badass and-

Detective Needles made quite a strong impression on that perfectly normal day.

It turned out that Detectives Thunder and Needles worked together like a dream. Alaska called them thick as thieves, once, and Sharon proceeded to double over in incredulous laughter that her partner hadn’t even noticed her own hilariously unintentional joke.

Usually, Captain Tidicue would assign Alaska to work with Jinkx, given the close nature of their friendship, but seeing Sharon’s arrest numbers at a similar rate to Alaska’s, she had decided they could work the case together instead. It was almost like she didn’t know they had an unspoken bet about who was going to get more, and that it was actually a very spoken bet that was being monitored daily by tally marks on the whiteboard and was currently tied.

And she almost definitely did know about the bet, because there was no way Latrice hadn’t told her.

“Okay. I think, when we catch this guy, we both add a point to our list of arrests since we did it together. That cool?”

Sharon laughed. “Ooh, feeling nervous? You want to keep us on an equal playing ground, huh?”

“No, I just don’t wanna hurt your feelings,” She teased, “I know you’re a little sensitive. You need these arrests to make you feel cool.”

“I’m already cool.”

Alaska snorted. “Right, sure. I did some sneaky detective work and found out your favourite show is Jeopardy.”

Sharon frowned at her, the mirth evident behind her eyes. “You mean, you followed my Twitter? Also, Jeopardy is a great show, and if I was straight, I’d go for Alex Trebek in a heartbeat.”

They were nestled in a discreet car to help them blend into the city, dressed casually to avoid arousing suspicion. When Sharon rocked up in leopard print and leather, Alaska had first mercilessly mocked her before admitting that she was highly impressed by the choice of attire, and wished her jeans were quite as bold. Naturally, Sharon gave as good as she got.

Still, they had been getting bored waiting for their suspect to turn up around town, and had taken to mindless conversation. It was beginning to get… interesting.

“Alex Trebek?! Sharon, he’s like ninety.”

“He’s seventy nine!” Sharon shrugged, and then chuckled and conceded. “He’s a total zaddy, okay, you wouldn’t get it. Anyway, he’s a man so I’m not actually into him, and no one will believe that I told you this so you have zero leverage.”

Alaska leant back in her chair, keeping her eyes on the street. “Well, if you can hold that against me, I can do that too. I used to be terrified of Marilyn Manson as a child, but then when I was a preteen - so before I was gay - I had a crush on him. There. Something no one will believe.”

Sharon gasped. “You monster. I’m dying to use that against you!”

“Well, you can’t.”

“I can’t believe you’re aroused by scary people. Do you jack it to Freddy Kreuger or something?”

“This is getting weird.”

“Agreed.” Sharon held up her hands. “In all fairness, you took it there, not me. So, we should quickly go over the plan because the asshole just turned up for his shift at the store, fifteen minutes after it should’ve started.”

She pointed. A tall, balding white man was entering the run-down convenience store, his bright employee vest halfheartedly tucked into his baggy trousers. Alaska looked down at their case file and nodded.

“Alright. Darren Jones, you’re going down. Sharon, tell me your fake name and invent a story to go with it, I like a bit of storytelling. Adds some pizazz to the case.”

Sharon rolled her eyes and giggled. “You’re the world’s most immature detective. We don’t need to go undercover for this.”

Alaska raised an eyebrow. “It’s fun, Needles. Much more fun than watching episodes of Jeopardy.”

“Rude, but fine. My name is Sarah Anne Jefferson and I’m visiting from Iowa, I have an addiction to cigarettes and I need the store clerk to search all the way at the back of the shelf for the good ones, because I may be desperate but I’m still picky and that bullshit fake excuse means he’ll have to face away from us so we can surround him. I also happen to be very conversational and may casually ask him about his weekend during my rambling about my dumb boyfriend Brad, who’s from California.”

Alaska shuddered, snapping the case file shut. “I don’t know what’s worse, California or Iowa. Gross.”

Sharon winked, and Alaska maybe found it a little bit hot. “Iowa. I grew up there, it’s terrible. The town I lived in is famous for dryers and meth. A great combo.”

“I’d argue California is still worse.”

“You’re right.” Sharon undid her seatbelt. “Okay. Detective Thunder, you’re heading to the back of the store so that you can search for the milk and sneak round so we got him on both sides and he can’t run. You ready?”

Alaska winked back. “Born ready, baby.”

So what if Alaska became a detective just to pretend she was one of those badass cops from a movie? It was worth it - she could protect civilians, take down bad guys and pretend to be a cool movie cop, all at the same time.

She browsed the store idly, waiting until she heard Sharon enter the store and began listening for her cue. Darren Jones was connected to a series of robberies around the area, and despite his penchant for breaking into places without witnesses, the guy was a total dunce. Each of his crime scenes had several valuable items stolen, all of which had been recovered in his apartment earlier that day, and he was stupid enough to leave fingerprints all over the items and the crime scene.

He was a terribly unskilled criminal, that was for sure. Whilst Alaska loved cracking the difficult cases, this one had been pretty fun. It was like watching a child blundering their way through college. He had no idea what he was doing, and it was an easy arrest.

“Hi there! My name’s Sarah Anne, sweetie, y’all got cigarettes in here? Oh, perfect, thank you so much. Listen, I know this is an odd request, but do you mind digging for the ones at the back of the top shelf? They’re always better when the air can’t get to ‘em, you know?”

Alaska held her breath, fighting not to laugh as Sharon exaggerated her Iowan accent. There was nothing… objectively funny about the accent, just that fact that it was Sharon’s but stronger and the fact that Sharon seemed to work so hard to convince everyone of how much she loved Pittsburgh when she had lived there. She almost always sounded like she was born there, except for now.

Nobody else would find it funny. But Alaska knew her and Sharon would laugh about it later, because they had great banter and no one else could stop them. She crept further along the aisles, inching closer to the cashier desk, listening.

“-asshole boyfriend Brett convinced me to smoke them like that years ago and I always do now. He was here all weekend, driving me nuts. Did you get busy this weekend?”

Alaska readied herself, the signal having been sent. The idiot cashier/criminal kept his back turned as he responded, allowing Alaska to position herself behind him on the other side of Sharon.

“Oh, not really, just hung out at home…”

He trailed off when he saw their police badges glinting in his direction.

“NYPD, you’re under arrest for three robberies. Darren Jones, you did have a busy weekend, huh?”

It was highly unprofessional, but Alaska still offered a high-five on the way back to the car, dragging the cuffed Darren behind them, and Sharon still accepted it.

“I thought your asshole boyfriend was Brad? You said Brett.”

“Did I? Oh, I’m cheating on Brett with Brad. They don’t know about each other.”

“Depth! Nice, I love it. Real fleshed out character.”

“Shut up.” Sharon started the car. “So, one more arrest for me since I said the words, so that’s 25 to Needles and 24 to Thunder-”

Immediately, Alaska had to protest. “What?! No, we agreed to split it. A point each, he was an easy one.”

Sharon fiddled with her badge, deep in thought. “Okay, fine. We need some stakes, though.”

“I’m vegetarian.”

“No, not steaks! Stakes!”

“The things you kill vampires with?”

“No! Like, a reason for our bet.” Sharon’s eyes glinted dangerously, and Alaska sucked in an excited breath. “Something that we want from each other. Personally, I want to crush your spirit.”

Alaska nodded. “Alright, nice. I also want to crush your spirit. Maybe we should be more specific.”

An idea started forming in Alaska’s head, and for once it felt like a pretty good one. Naturally, Alaska loved to embarrass and humiliate people, and she loved for people to bring her up in conversation all the time, and her idea would work perfectly for that. Plus, it would be hilarious, particularly for her, and it would make for one hell of a story.

“I got it. However, judging by the slight inclination of your head and the beginnings of a smirk on your face, you’ve got an idea. Hit me with it.”

Predictably, Sharon grinned. “Okay, Detective Alaska Thunder. When I win this bet, you have to watch reruns of Jeopardy with me, and you have to play along. No sitting and saying it’s boring, or dorky-”

“It is dorky.”

“-Didn’t ask - you have to answer questions or rag on the idiots who answer the questions wrong with me. Full involvement, it’s my favourite show.”

As she resisted calling Sharon a dork for the second time (she really was a complete dork beneath her incredible cop/badass persona), Alaska hissed outwardly. She really didn’t want to watch some stupid quiz show, not when there were so many better things on TV these days. For example, Golden Girls reruns.

“Fine.” Alaska smiled. “I think it’s adorable how you used when and not if. So, when I win this bet, you…”

She held her breath for dramatic effect, watching as Sharon playfully rolled her eyes.

“…Will go on a date with me. And it will be the worst date of your life. I will make sure of it.”

Sharon made a disbelieving face. “Yeah, right. I had a date once where the girl spilled her entire glass of red wine onto my dress and then cried for two hours about her ex, who it turned out she had invited to the restaurant so that she could beg her to get back together. Nothing can top that.”

Alaska sucked in a breath. “Oooh. One, that’s terrible, and two, you just set the highest bar for this date and that is going to be your downfall. I will humiliate you, Needles. You just wait and see.”

“You’re on.”

A few weeks passed. Alaska took a considerable lead, and swanned into the precinct every morning with the arrogance level of, according to Captain Tidicue, a peacock who had stumbled into a Las Vegas dressing room. No one had been quite sure about whether that was a compliment or not, judging by her stony, passive face, until it suddenly morphed into a cartoonish grin and they swiftly left the briefing room amid terrified laughter.

Then, Sharon’s arson case took an interesting turn and Alaska watched, green with envy and competitive spirit, as she made six arrests in one day and started closing the gap between them.

“That’s how you do it, Thunder.” Sharon mimed injecting into her forearm, which in hindsight was probably a little inappropriate, but only Alaska saw it, and she didn’t give a shit.

“Do what, Needles? Get a crippling addiction?”

Sharon shrugged. “I guess I’m just addicted to justice, baby. You better start reading up on your trivia.”

She took off with an infuriating amount of swagger, even worse than that of a Las Vegas peacock.

“That was a fucking fantastic line, Alaska.”

“Shut up, Jinkx.”

“Ladies and gentlemen of our squad, no need to be alarmed, but this is just a reminder for Detective Sharon Needles to clear her calendar for our deadline, because she’s looking at a brilliant officer who just took her total up to 41, dwarfing your measly little 37.”

Latrice high-fived Alaska, and Sharon groaned. “Seriously? What the fuck, how?”

“Simple theft case turned murder investigation, naturally. Gang crime. Boom!”

At Detective Michaels’ stern face, she deflated slightly. “Okay. Gang crime and murder isn’t cool nor acceptable to celebrate in the workplace, however, I am winning.”

It was 11pm, which meant that Sharon had definitely missed that night’s Jeopardy episode, and yet Alaska noted that it didn’t even seem like she cared. Maybe that was her professionalism, given that they were on a short stakeout waiting for a drug deal to go down so that they could rush in and arrest the guys, but whatever. She hadn’t even mentioned it, and they had been talking a lot.

Jinkx had been Alaska’s best friend ever since she joined the precinct as a new officer. They had connected so well, and it almost felt like they were easy best friends within a week or two. But it wasn’t quite like that with Sharon.

If anything, it was totally the opposite. They got along extremely well, but it wasn’t the kind of easy-going friendship that she shared with Jinkx, not at all. Of course, they talked personally the same way, and argued and laughed and cooperated the same way, but being around Sharon didn’t feel easy. It felt… exciting, almost. Invigorating.

Perhaps it was the thrill of a new friend, coupled with an exciting job and a fantastic work relationship.

“It’s getting late, I hope this drug deal happens before three in the fucking morning. I’d love to get some sleep tonight.” Alaska groaned, sitting down on a plastic chair beside Sharon. She had perched on an overturned storage container, as apparently the roof of the building they were staked out on didn’t have much in the way of garbage removal.

“We can take shifts, if you like? If it gets real late and we’re exhausted, I mean. I’d happily take first watch.”

Sharon tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, and Alaska watched her with a soft smile. “I can’t let you do that, Needles, that’s not fair. But, I did bring snacks, so that should give us some energy. How do you feel about…”

She dug into her bag. “Uh, off-brand chocolate counter things? I hear they’re pretty good… probably.”

In the moonlight, Sharon’s skin looked almost blue, like a nymph. Her quiet giggle was mesmerising after the awkward silence of an abandoned industrial site.

“I won’t turn them down.”

They kept watch, determined not to miss any minor discrepancies that would reveal their perpetrator in the midst of the darkness. All they needed was one damning deal, some incriminating photographs, and they could make their arrest and still get a good night’s sleep.

In the meantime, they had their ways of entertaining themselves. Namely, telling horrific jokes, and attempting to catch chocolate counters in their mouths, at which Sharon was awful.

Yet another victory Alaska could laud over her.

She doubled over in laughter as Sharon kept trying, missing by miles and in turn, collapsing into giggles. Her head was bent at all kinds of strange angles as she kept going, the counters flying everywhere but her mouth, even pinging off the edge of the roof. The closest she came was landing smack on the middle of Sharon’s forehead, which she counted as a win, and Alaska counted as a complete and utter fail.

“I can’t fathom someone being that bad at catching them in your mouth! It’s so easy!” Alaska wheezed. “Look, let me show you.”

Sharon stood up. “Fine, fine, you gotta teach me. As soon as I throw it, I can’t see it anymore! I don’t get your game, Thunder!”

Alaska stood in front of her, close so that Sharon could watch. She quite liked being taller than her partner - it meant Sharon had to look up to her, just like she would be when Alaska won their bet. It must’ve been a humbling feeling, Alaska assumed.

“See? Watch.” She flicked the counter into the air and caught it deftly on her tongue. “Easy. Challenge mode, throw me more than one. Get a good handful or something.”

Sharon’s hand was already reaching into the bag. “You’re never gonna get all these. Nobody’s that good.”

“Try me.”

The handful rained down out of nowhere, and needless to say, Sharon’s cackles of delight made the meagre one counter that she managed to catch seem a little better. A good amount of them had fallen onto her face, anyway, so by Sharon’s standards, that must count as a win.

“I concede, you’re the chocolate champion. Congrats.” Sharon grinned.

Bowing, Alaska offered her most dazzling smile. “Told you I’m amazing.”

“And you have chocolate on your face. Real dignified.”

“Ha! You’re bluffing.”

“No, I’m serious!” Sharon’s eyes sparkled with humour. “Let me get it.”

She closed the tiny gap between them and stepped closer, Alaska again noting the slight height difference between them and how kind and sweet the moonlight made Sharon’s features appear. Her eyebrows furrowed and then relaxed as she reached an admittedly cold hand towards Alaska’s lips. Everything seemed to happen agonisingly slow, as she gently brushed her thumb over the corner of Alaska’s mouth and her expression softened. In the background, Alaska heard a car door shut. She never wanted to take her eyes away from Sharon in the moment, but regrettably found herself doing so.

“I think that’s our guy.”

She sighed, internally cursing herself over and over as they each took a step backwards, Sharon coughing and righting herself with a nod. “Right. Armed and ready?”

Alaska nodded, confused about why she felt so disappointed. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

They caught the guys red-handed. Alaska said the words, so she took credit for the arrests.

Sharon rewrote the scores on the board and blew raspberries at her. Detective Velour suggested that Sharon had sunk to Alaska levels of childishness, to which she received a high-five from most of the other detectives, some laughs of agreement, and one outraged huff followed by a much louder raspberry than Sharon’s had been.

When Alaska got to her desk, Jinkx was already there waiting. She held a case file between her fingers and she tapped her foot impatiently as Alaska sat down and looked at her.

“Tidicue just thanked Sharon for the two of you offering to take that drug stakeout and rejecting the backup offer.”

Alaska shrugged. “That was nice of her.”

Jinkx pressed on. “She seemed a little confused. Almost as if she didn’t know that the two of you volunteered, or that there was a backup team. I didn’t pry, but I saw her face. Just wondering when you were planning on admitting that you like her.”

Something about the accusation made Alaska feel a little hot under the collar. What the hell was Jinkx trying to imply? That she liked Sharon? It made no sense. Alaska took comfort in how absurd it was.

“Of course I like Sharon,” She chose to respond, deliberately ignoring the obvious implication. “She’s a great detective and a good friend. We didn’t need backup, so I didn’t ask for it.”

Inexplicably, Jinkx’s eye roll was almost audible. “Or you were just enjoying your alone time…”

Alaska looked at her screen. Her computer was open and unlocked, as she’d left it, and there was a form that needed filling in before she got started on some of her paperwork that had been piling up on her desk. Really, she needed to get a move on with it all. Jinkx was highly unprofessional for interrupting her. Alaska had never done that to anyone before, of course.

“I have work to do, shut up. It wasn’t alone time, it was a stakeout! We were literally working together, as colleagues.” Alaska sent back an eye roll of her own. “I don’t like Sharon that way, she’s not my type. Don’t make it weird.”

From behind her, someone cleared their throat. Alaska spun in her chair and found Sharon having just approached, tucking her hair behind her ears and smiling awkwardly. “Tidicue said we should split the paperwork. I just came to pick up my half.”

She gathered some of the files from the desk in a few seconds and left with another brief smile. Alaska watched her go, then turned and met eyes with Jinkx, who was nothing if not a picture of smugness.

“See? We’re professionals.” Alaska retorted.

Jinkx shrugged. “Sure. Okay. I believe you. Just putting it out there that you seem so determined to win the bet and make the forfeit the worst date ever, you’re putting a lot of thought into this. But fine, I’ll leave you to it.”

As she slunk away, back to her own desk, Alaska swore she heard Jinkx humming a wedding march.

“Hey, Sharon! Hey, glad I could catch you. I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

The roof had quite the scenic view of the city. It wasn’t particularly high, but it gave a perfect vantage point of everything that Alaska considered essential to make up her home - graffiti, pigeons, dodgy food vendors and an every-man-for-himself attitude wrapped in an aura of grey bleakness. That being said, grimy and dark as it could sometimes be, there was a lot of life and colour and excitement in the city that could always be relied on to keep things interesting. As she joined Sharon by the edge of the brick wall, where she was absent-mindedly tapping off cigarette ash, they watched as passersby went about their days.

“I know you probably overheard a little of what Jinkx was saying to me, which was totally out of line, but I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t hurt your feelings or anything with what I said.”

Sharon looked pensive for a moment, then she took one final drag from her cigarette and stubbed it out before throwing it into the trash. Alaska felt strangely nervous as she waited for a response - apologies and humility were not really her style.

“Oh, it’s fine.” Sharon replied, amused. “I wasn’t hurt. My type isn’t really cocky, arrogant and goofy, so…”

Alaska laughed. “Right! Like, I’m just not into… I mean, you look like a nerdy dork who tried to reinvent herself as a biker chick by just wearing leather. Different personalities.”

“Exactly!” Sharon agreed with a smile. “You’re too blase for my tastes.”

“And you’re really Type A. Too strict for me. I don’t know what Jinkx is seeing, but she should get her eyes checked.”

Sharon giggled. “Alright, I’m going inside. You coming?”

Alaska watched a pigeon chase a man halfway down the street. “In a minute, you go ahead. I’m getting some fresh air.”

So, progress. This was good. Alaska had proved Jinkx wrong, and clarified in no uncertain terms that she didn’t like Sharon and that Sharon didn’t like her. But at the same time… cocky and arrogant. That struck a nerve, somehow. It wasn’t like her nature hadn’t been commented on before - hell, it was open game to everyone in the squad. They all knew that as a detective, and in general, Alaska was pretty lax and carefree and chilled out. But the fact that those qualities made her unattractive in Sharon’s eyes…

It wasn’t like Alaska wanted Sharon to like her, not in that way. It just… stung. It stung, and it had never stung before when others said it.

It was late. The shift was almost over, the clock edging towards midnight, and Alaska overall thought her day had been pretty good. There had been a long, tedious interrogation, but that had kept her entertained for long enough that the rest of the shift was pretty much smooth sailing. She had even had time to harmlessly prank Detective Coulée by covering her computer monitor in googly eyes, during which Latrice, her superior, and Detective Michaels, her moral superior, watched her with disapproving but amused stares.

When Sharon walked in, at two minutes to midnight, her smile lit up the room.

“Thunder, you got a pen? I need to update our arrest numbers.” She asked with a wink.

Alaska shrugged. “I never have a pen, Needles, but I know for a fact that you have one, so I see right through your little power-play.”

Sharon smirked. “Right. Just wanted to make you sweat a little, that’s all.”

She sauntered into the other room, pen in hand. Jinkx got up from her desk and scuttled across to Alaska’s, practically bouncing with excitement. Looking around the room, Alaska noticed that the rest of her colleagues were all watching her with anticipation, knowing what was about to happen. In response, Alaska just offered a grin and held her finger to her lips.

“You’re not gonna tell her?!” Jinkx scream-whispered.

Alaska shrugged again. “She can read, she’s a smart girl. Anyway, I want to hear how she reacts when she-”

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

As the room erupted into laughter, Alaska stood up in the midst of the desks and opened her arms wide. Perfectly on cue, when Sharon stepped out of the briefing room, Jinkx, Sasha and Latrice started releasing party poppers whilst Willam gladly helped Shea unfurl a banner proclaiming Alaska a champion. Detective Michaels, loathe to take part in the childishness of it all but still wanting to offer her support, broke into polite applause.

“Why the fuck is your count one higher than mine? We were tied, I was about to beat you, I-”

Sharon’s eyes fell on the parade and she shook her head. “How?! How?!”

As if rehearsed - although it wasn’t, as Alaska had asked and Captain Tidicue had insisted it would be funnier if it was entirely natural - Tidicue stepped out from her office and shook Alaska’s hand.

“Working with a bunch of children is definitely a challenge, but I enjoyed this little bet. It made two of my best detectives work harder than ever and, Detective Needles, you’ve helped to increase Detective Thunder’s productivity massively. She’s willingly completed paperwork because of you.”

Sharon’s jaw dropped. “But-!”

Alaska’s carefully timed alarm ticked over, and celebratory music cut Sharon’s protest off before it could even start. Deciding to add insult to injury, Alaska performed the most obnoxious victory dance she could think of.

“You see, my dear, dear colleague and close friend, whilst you were out today working your little detective socks off on your case, arresting your one suspect…” Alaska trailed off, leaving the room in gleeful suspense as she wheeled the whiteboard with their scores in, “I put away two guys. And now, since the clock has hit midnight, the bet is over and I have won. Ladies and gentlemen, the amazing Thunder wins again!”

Jinkx joined Alaska’s enthusiastic dance, but they stopped in unison when Alaska held out her hand for silence. “Now, I believe first of all you have a statement to announce?”

If looks could kill, Alaska would have happily died under Sharon’s murderous gaze. “You’re a great detective and you’re hot.”

“Hmm… a little louder. Also, that’s not what I texted you to say, so…”

Sharon shook her head. “I’m not saying it again, nor am I reading your horrendous text. It was scarring enough when I had to read it in my own head.”

Alaska raised her eyebrows in mock sympathy. “Aww. Listen, your terrible date starts now, and our first port of call is for you to do what I say in every humiliating way possible. Would you like a chair?”

“A… chair?”

“To stand on, so everyone can see and hear you.”

This had to be the best day of Alaska’s life. Nothing would compare to the pride and glee that she felt at dragging a plastic chair into the middle of the police station at midnight for Sharon to stand on. Every part of her indignance only made the experience more enjoyable. The rest of the officers rallied around Alaska in a crowd, palpably excited that the bet had finally come to its end.

Sharon read from her phone, and sighed audibly at the content. “I really don’t want to say this.”

“Come on, date-o-mine!” Alaska cajoled her. “Tell everyone what you really think!”

There was a long pause, and then Sharon began speaking in a loud, flat voice. “Attention, everyone! I have… an announcement to make. Alaska Elizabeth Joanne Thunder - that’s really your full name? - is the greatest detective known in this world, and in comparison to her, I am… I am a helpless misguided child. This… wonderful influence on my life will now take me on a date and teach me her mastermind ways.”

She paused and groaned. “I don’t wanna - I also would like to confess to the room the deep and embarrassing nature of my feelings for this heroic woman. She makes my pan- fucking hell I’m not saying that!”

“You can say basement.” Alaska interjected, as unhelpful as possible. “Keep going.”

“She makes my… basement flood, every day. It will be difficult to keep my hands off her tonight. Goodnight everyone.”

The room burst into laughter again, and Sharon stepped down from the chair and whacked Alaska’s arm with a nearby folder. It hurt more than she expected, but something about Sharon’s glare told Alaska to just laugh it off. Instead, she offered a charming smile and handed a plastic bag over.

“Feel free to do your hair however you like, but I’ve packed a beautiful date outfit for you and a lipstick colour that I think will look gorgeous. Meet me out here when you’re done and we’ll head off.”

Naturally, Alaska’s planning for the Worst Date Ever had been meticulous, in possibly the most un-Alaska behaviour of hers ever. Since they had started the bet, she kept track of little bits of information that she could use - things that annoyed Sharon, things that she hated, offhand comments she made that indicated her opinions on things.

For example, she now knew that Sharon hated pink lipstick, claiming it made her look like a man. She thought anything off-shoulder was stupid, and pale colours didn’t flatter her skin tone, and long strappy shoes were dumb because the ties looked weird wrapped around people’s legs.

Her face when she reappeared was something Alaska never wanted to forget.

In the time Sharon had been changing, and likely cursing herself for not winning the bet, Alaska had slipped into something a little nicer in the bathroom too - just a ripped jeans and button-up combo that she would usually wear on a date, which had been made to feel twice as good by Jinkx’s compliments. Alaska suspected her friend was hoping for a romantic connection to blossom on the date, and inwardly laughed at the idea. One, they weren’t into each other like that, and two, this was not the kind of date that would make a girl fall in love.

Sharon emerged with a scowl, but even so, Alaska couldn’t deny that she looked pretty. It was abundantly clear that she hated her outfit from head to toe, which was a great start. In all fairness, the skin-tight pink minidress, off-the-shoulder style with long sleeves, actually looked pretty good on her. It clung to her curves in a somewhat intoxicating way, showcasing a figure that Alaska never knew had been hiding under her detective uniform and leather jackets.

“I look ridiculous.” She sulked. “I hate these shoes, and this lipstick makes me look like a man. Are you happy?”

As soon as the question was out, Sharon rolled her eyes as she predicted Alaska’s gleeful response. “Thrilled.”

Latrice walked past and stopped to marvel at the outfit, before bursting into infectiously loud laughter. “Damn, Needles, I ain’t never seen you dressed like that before! You look like Angelyne!”

Sharon crossed her arms over her chest. “And you’ll never see it again! It suits Angelyne, it doesn’t fucking suit me! Can we get this thing started already?”

Alaska offered her arm, ever the polite, charming date. “Since you spoke so sweetly of me earlier, of course. You’re going to love my date.”

Sharon was not going to love Alaska’s date.

There were very few restaurants that were still open and serving food past midnight, but that was fine - Alaska wasn’t in the mood for a restaurant. What the city had a plethora of, however, was exactly what she wanted. Even in the darkness of the city streets, lit only by street lamps and the jarring white light of the food stalls, Alaska saw Sharon’s face drop.

“Fuck off. No. You can’t do this to me.”

By far, the worst street of the city was the one they stood in, lined as far as the eye could see with various unsanitary or just plain unusual food trucks. Even drunk Alaska knew better than to search for something edible from them after a night out, which meant it was perfect for her terrible date.

“You get to pick!” Alaska beamed. “I’m a great date partner, so it’s up to you. Of course, I’m paying.”

Sharon tugged at her dress and huffed. “Thunder. You can’t be serious. If we eat from any of these places we won’t shit solid for a week. I am not subjecting myself to food poisoning because of you.”

Eventually, they settled on what seemed like a fairly inoffensive option, a small truck selling wraps and burritos. Sharon took about two bites of her ‘vegetarian special’ before spitting it onto the ground, disgusted. It turned out a cold wrap filled with lukewarm lettuce, tomato and sour cream wasn’t the most appetizing meal. Once she’d thrown it away, she leant towards Alaska and playfully barged into her.

“You’re an asshole! I hate this. I hate you.”

Alaska winked. “Oh, you think you hate me, but trust me, things can only get worse from here. I promised you an awful date and I will deliver because I am a woman of my word. Now, how do you feel about mud, loud noises, and smashing vehicles?”

Sharon glanced down. “In these shoes?”

To be completely honest, Alaska didn’t see the problem with lace-up heels. In fact, she thought they looked quite good wrapped around Sharon’s legs. She had nice legs.

“Come on, let’s go.”

To make the date even worse, on the way to a monster truck rally that some dumb kid Sasha had arrested a few weeks ago had mentioned, Alaska chose a ride-share, subjecting Sharon to twenty minutes in a car with a bunch of hammered straight girls. Every five minutes or so, they whooped loudly and demanded the driver play some Dua Lipa.

Sharon looked murderous, but in a sort of amused way. Alaska figured she was surprised at quite how horrific the date was turning out to be. It was quite a shock, really.

It quickly became apparent that the truck rally, however, was a pretty big mistake on Alaska’s part.

Unsurprisingly, it was just as terrible as she had planned it to be - floodlit, loud, dirty, and full of raucous drunk people thriving off destruction and chaos. They were perched on the edge of shaky metal benches, disgusted at the filth of the place.

“This… is disgusting.” Sharon almost seemed impressed. “I thought the food choice was bad, but the activity is so much worse.”

Alaska could barely hear her over the noise, but she nodded. “I told you I’m good.”

Sharon laughed and conceded. “Fuck. Something about this place feels very illegal, and I don’t even know why. I’m just going to ignore my surroundings.”

Behind them, a greasy-looking man wearing a beer-stained vest and sagging jeans clicked his tongue. “Hey, ma, shake that thing on over here. That’s right, I’m talkin’ to you, hot stuff. You look good in that pink.”

Sharon stiffened, and Alaska bit her lip. “I… forgot about the existence of gross men in a place like this.”

In spite of the comment, Sharon cracked a smile. “So caught up in the fun of humiliating me that you forgot about sexism. I love that. We should leave.”

“Fantastic idea.”

Luckily, there was a decent bar not too far from the site of their awful date, so they hastened away from the chaos of the rally as quickly as they could and made their way inside. Alaska reasoned that maybe a good bar would act as a little bit of a reprieve from the bad date and vile comment, and figured she could still ruin it tactfully by ordering the grossest drinks they had available. Straight tequila would do, probably.

“Can we get six shots of tequila? Thanks,” Alaska handed over the money and laughed at Sharon, who sat on the barstool and groaned exaggeratedly loud. “This is what happens when you lose the bet, Needles! Maybe you should be better next time.”

“I tried so hard!” Sharon defended herself, laughing. “I held the lead for at least three weeks in a row! Stupid fucking criminals working alone instead of together.”

When the shots arrived, Alaska barely had a chance to gloat about how horrible it was going to be before Sharon had downed her three, wincing but persisting nevertheless. Alaska quickly caught up, taken aback and tickled by how fast she had knocked them back.

“Listen,” Sharon giggled at Alaska’s stare, “I look dumb, I ate gross street food, went to a fucking monster truck rally and got catcalled. I need to get shitfaced, you succeeded. Your date is terrible.”

Alaska pumped her fist into the air. “Yes! Succeeded and the night is still young! Although I can’t help but feel like the catcalling was my fault because of the outfit, so I will offer a rare Alaska Thunder apology.”

Sharon smirked. “Oh, thanks, I appreciate that. I’d look better in a body bag.”

Checking her phone, Alaska saw that it was just coming up to around two in the morning. She ordered two double whiskeys and winked at Sharon. They still had plenty of time before she would call the date finished and let her go home.

Sharon could hold her alcohol incredibly well, Alaska discovered, but also that she became a heightened and twice as hilarious version of herself the more she drank. Or maybe Alaska just saw it that way, as she matched her drink for drink. She found herself doubled over, howling with laughter at something that one of them had said, with no idea what had been said or by who.

They even danced a little, with drunk Alaska unashamed to show how terribly uncoordinated she was. Sharon was by no means an expert dancer, but drunk Alaska was more than a little open-mouthed and amazed at how close drunk Sharon danced against her. There was hardly space between them to breathe, and Alaska found it difficult to tear her eyes away from Sharon’s hips.

It wasn’t like it mattered anyway… finding someone physically attractive didn’t mean you liked liked them, or wanted to date them or have sex with them or engage in anything other than a friendly professional relationship with them… Jinkx was stupid. There was no such thing as ‘chemistry’ or anything like that. There was just Sharon, who looked good, and Alaska, who had drank a lot, and a dance floor and some loud music, and that was enough.

Alaska didn’t remember when they decided to leave the club, but at some point they had made the decision to. Her phone read four in the morning, not that she could really register that either. The ground was cold and a little bit stony - she looked down and saw she was walking barefoot, holding a pair of heels by their straps, and Sharon was wearing her flats.

Perhaps she’d offered them to her. How kind.

Both girls stumbled down the street, presumably towards the Uber they had probably called that would be arriving in ten minutes or something along those lines. Alaska’s head was swimming, and a bubble of laughter escaped from her for no reason, triggering Sharon to do the same.

She was really kind of beautiful, in the darkness. But that sounded bad - Sharon was pretty in the daylight, and in the moonlight, and through the lens of drunk, smug Alaska. She had successfully created the worst date, and she’d had so much fun.

“This is so fucking fun…” Sharon slurred, wobbling as she clung to Alaska’s arm and laughed. “I’m counting the worms on the street. I’ve seen like five, and they’re all called Joe. They’re my sons now.”

“You’re a mother!” Alaska exclaimed. “How exciting for you! Congratulations!”

She almost tripped, grabbed onto Sharon for balance, and started howling with laughter. “Oooops, I might be a teensy bit drunk.”

“Good! So am I!” Sharon declared proudly. “I’m ha-having so much fun. This is definitely not the worst date ever. I’ve been- I’ve been on worser- more worse - badder dates than this. One time, this girl left me for her ex! At the table! Was fucking bad, Lask. But funny.”

Alaska gasped. “Aww, shit. You told me that! Now I gotta plan a w-worse date?”

Sharon smiled, her expression dopey. “I like hanging out with you! I’ve had so much fun tonight. Also, you’re waaaay pretty! Even though you’re a goof! A goofy goofball dummy head.”

“That’s me, baby!” Alaska puffed her chest out. “OH! I think that’s our car. It is! Let’s go, pretty pretty girl. You’re pretty too. Let’s gooooooo!”

No amount of alcohol was worth the raging headache that Alaska woke up with. Her memories were hazy but nevertheless still there, and as she tried to think back on the events of her night, her head spun. Where did Sharon end up?

The reluctant opening of her eyes soon solved that mystery. Alaska’s bedroom door was wide open, and if she squinted to try and focus her blurry vision, she made out the shape of Sharon’s body passed out asleep on her couch, one arm thrown up in the air and one leg stretched out.

With a groan and an extreme amount of effort, Alaska shifted herself up and into the kitchen, overlooking the living room. She needed coffee and she needed it now. Thank god neither of them had work - there wasn’t a chance in hell that either of them would’ve been able to make it in.

“I feel like Satan’s asscrack right now.” Sharon’s voice came weakly from the couch. “I’m so tired.”

Alaska smiled, though Sharon couldn’t see her from where she was lying. “Coffee? I just brewed some… gonna fucking need it.”

“Oh, please. Black, no sugar, and toss in a Redbull if you got one. I need the caffeine more than I need a steady heart rate.”

Alaska poured the two drinks and brought them into the living room, the two of them laughing weakly at each other in their hungover, exhausted states. She handed over the mug and recalled how her drunken self had dwelled on Sharon being pretty as they walked together.

Sharon’s eyes were puffy and rimmed with smudged black makeup, her lipstick smeared across her cheek but mostly on her hand. Her hair was loose and stuck up wildly from the way she’d slept, not that she seemed to care. As she sipped her coffee, Alaska realised she must have offered her something to sleep in, as the offending pink dress had been discarded halfway across the room, and instead she wore an old Golden Girls t-shirt of Alaska’s. She looked a mess, as they both did.

Alaska was sober, it was daylight, and she still thought Sharon looked beautiful.

Fuck. As much as Alaska hated the thought of it…. Jinkx might’ve been onto something.

Jinkx was onto something.

Her case had suddenly had this amazing new lead, and within a day of hard field work, she had enlisted Alaska to join her for the arrest and taken down a guy she’d been hunting for months. It was obviously an amazing feeling, and as a celebration, she invited her friend over to spend the evening.

It soon became clear that Jinkx had an ulterior motive, because the questions began the moment that Alaska’s second glass of red wine had been refilled.

“So… no work talk tonight, we did a good job. How was your date?”

Alaska rolled her eyes and giggled, feeling relaxed in the comfort of Jinkx’s home. When she’d joined the force, she hadn’t expected to become such good friends with her colleagues, but Jinkx in particular had assumed the position of best friend in no time. Her home was slightly kooky and unusual, but the little touches of her personality made the whole place endearing and safe in Alaska’s eyes. In the soft lighting, a glass of wine down, she found herself more open to talk.

“I thought you said no work chat,” Alaska teased.

Jinkx coughed expectantly. “That wasn’t work and you know it. Spill, bitch.”

“Fine.” Alaska lazily sipped her wine. “I took her out and tried to embarrass her, succeeded, and we ended up having a really good night. Sharon’s pretty fun.”

“You could��ve stopped at pretty.”

Alaska laughed. “Are you sure it’s me you’re trying to imply liking her? You seem into her.”

“Har, har, har,” Jinkx shot Alaska a meaningful look, going as far as to push her glasses further down the bridge of her nose to make eye contact away from the lens. “She’s good looking, of course, but she’s not my type.”

“What makes you think she’s mine?”

Dangerous territory. Alaska still couldn’t shake the thoughts she had woken up sober with after their night out - that Sharon was pretty, even when she looked and felt like death. Sometimes, she’d walk into work in the morning and see that Sharon had tied her hair up or worn something different or just looked the same, and would internally note that she looked nice. It was like all of a sudden she couldn’t not notice her colleague’s appearance.

“The way you look at her.” Jinkx shrugged, matter-of-factly. “You have to admit there’s an element of attraction there.”

Alaska swallowed. She drank some more wine and thought for a moment - it wasn’t like she couldn’t trust Jinkx, but admitting it would feel so humiliating. Still, she supposed, there was a reason they called it liquid courage…

“To be honest, I feel like I’ve been looking at her differently since the date. Nothing happened, but I guess I’d never considered looking at her romantically before that. I mean, why would I?” She stared off into the distance, not quite wanting to look Jinkx in the eye. “She’s obviously pretty. It’s just that… I notice it now, you know? She’s this badass detective and that’s attractive, but then it’s like… she’s also this dork who likes dumb shit and it’s funny to me when she talks about it.”

Alaska’s gaze flickered over to Jinkx, who seemed to be masking her smugness in order to hide her judgement. Her face was so perfectly still that she burst into laughter, prompting Jinkx to do the same.

“I knew you liked her. You give her this look sometimes, I don’t think she ever notices it, but you smile with half of your mouth and then laugh at things she says. Almost subconsciously, I would say.” Jinkx wrinkled her nose and giggled. “I’m a love expert, just saying. I have a PhD in love.”

“You’re so full of shit.” Alaska deadpanned, and then spluttered into laughter. “I can’t keep a straight face. Look, I just… don’t know how to proceed with these new… observations, alright? I wouldn’t make a move on her, it’s not like she sees me the same way.”

Jinkx’s gaze somehow seemed wise, like an owl’s, and knowing. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“Wouldn’t be so sure?” Alaska repeated, confused.

Jinkx got up and started walking into the kitchen, her back to Alaska so she couldn’t read her expression. Dammit, social cues! Alaska was going to go crazy.

“Jinkx, wouldn’t be so sure?”

They texted a lot. Even sometimes at work, when they were only across the room from one another. Alaska would text something dumb that she knew would make Sharon laugh, and watch as she looked down at her desk and then smiled to herself, privately.

No one else got to see those smiles of hers. Just Alaska, who had caused them.

#rpdr fanfiction #purecamp #sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #shalaska #latrice royale #chad michaels #shea coulee #willam belli #jinkx monsoon #bob the drag queen #case closed #submission #lesbian au

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raybansandcoffee · 5 years ago

Text

Adventure of a Lifetime: Chapter Ten

You can locate the first nine chapters HERE.

“So are you going to tell me now about you and Jeremy?” Frankie asked. I’d been right. She had slept in my room. We stayed up late talking, getting about two hours of sleep before Frankie’s crazy-ass internal clock woke her up which meant she woke me up. Thankfully, she went and made coffee and delivered me a cup before sneaking up to her room to shower. She knew just how cranky I was in the morning without my magic bean juice. She was now laying on my bed with wet hair, black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt and a plaid shirt. Her makeup wasn’t done yet she still looked way better than I would even after I was done getting ready.

“Why do you think I’ll tell you this morning but wouldn’t tell you last night?”

“Because you’re usually much more talkative when you’ve had time to internally freak out about a situation for a few hours, which I’m sure you’ve been doing.”

“No, I haven’t.” I had.

“Liar.” I was.

“We are just friends. Last night was nothing.” It wasn’t nothing, it was everything? Okay, maybe that was too much. It was a really great first date, calling it nothing diminished how I felt about it. But honestly, I didn’t want to have my sister analyzing it this morning.

“Last night wasn’t nothing. If last night was nothing you would’ve freely given me details to the night without hesitation. Your hesitation shows me it’s something. Was last night your first date?” She’d now come into the bathroom where I was putting my makeup on while my hair was wrapped in a towel on top of my head and hadn’t gotten dressed yet.

“Why does it matter?”

“Because you haven’t been on a first date since you started dating Patrick. I haven’t been on one since I was 18. The idea of a first date makes me want to break out into hives but I’d be really excited for you.”

“Yes, it was our first date,” I begrudgingly told her. “He technically asked me out on a date like two weeks ago and I found every excuse humanly possible to delay it. Last night I ran out of excuses.”

“Why would you want an excuse to not go out with him? He seems really great, in addition to the obvious that he is super hot.”

“First dates also make me want to break out into hives The last first date I went on I was in my 20s still and it was Patrick who I’d known for ages through mutual friends so it wasn’t really that intimidating. Outside of that shit, I don’t need to add more complication to my life. I need to focus on the kids. I don’t need to worry about having a life. I just need to provide for the kids, do my work, and that’s it. I don’t need the rest.”

“You might not NEED the rest, but you fucking deserve it. Charlotte,” she sighed. She never called me Charlotte. As a little kid she couldn’t say it because the double T gave her trouble, thus all of the nicknames. Plus my Dad loved that his girls had typically male nicknames and were named after his two favorite uncles. “Charlotte, honestly. Do you really believe that you are just supposed to be their mother and nothing else?”

“I mean, no. But the judgement I get when I attempt to have a life is just something I can’t deal with.”

“Who the fuck is judging you? Honestly. It’s not me or Ryan. Dad and Mandi both would support you in opening your heart again and finding love. Tony won’t pass judgement on anything, he’s 22 -old with no future plans living in his sister’s guest house. And clearly our mother has no room to judge anything. She packed up the house and moved to a different fucking continent when you were 13. Who else has an opinion that matters?”

“People.” I didn’t want to get into it. Frankie was a beast when she was in an argument and knew she was right.

“Is it Jane or Robert?” I shook my head. “Are you afraid of what Patrick will think?”

“Of course not. I understood why he left. The life I have is not the life he wanted, I mean it’s honestly not the life either of us wanted it’s the one that was handed to me.”

“And you did the most honorable thing I’ve ever seen and took it without any complaint and all you did was love those kids. Who on Earth are you worried about? Charlotte, who is it?” I refused to look towards her and into her eyes. “Is it Alex? It’s Alex right?”

“No, of course not.” I paused for a moment before shrugging. “Yes, it’s Alex,” I replied sheepishly.

“Alex is just a bitch. I mean I love her but she’s an incredible bitch a lot of the time.” She tried to keep her voice low in case Savannah woke up. She didn’t want to risk trash-talking her mother because honestly we both grew up with a lot of adults trash-talking our mother and it made life difficult. “Alex is still jealous that Sam and Michael trusted you with the kids. Which baffles me, has she somehow missed how upside down your life has been for the last year? Every plan you had in life changed because of one night. But it’s Alex. She fully expected when that will was read at Dad’s the morning after that it was going to say the guardianship of the kids went to her or at least someone in Sam’s family. She didn’t expect it to be you.”

“No one did, except me and Dad. I knew I’d answered yes when they asked and had to sign a form agreeing to it. Dad was their attorney so he drew up the will. Which they updated fairly regularly. It seems super weird for someone my age and I made fun of Michael for doing it when he was 30 because it’s a thing I really only imagine old people doing but because Michael lost both of his parents young he wanted everything in place. He lived in flux between aunts and uncles and grandparents for so long he wanted to know that there was somewhere stable for the kids to go.”

“I knew they were coming to you. Sam asked me if it was wrong to ask you. She respected that you didn’t want to have kids but she also didn’t want anyone else to raise hers if something happened to her. She knew of everyone in her life you would be the person who would raise them in the way she would. You would let them grow and learn and become who they were meant to be, not what someone thought they should be.” I hadn’t known this. Sam never told me she consulted my sister and Frankie never told me that she knew I’d said yes. She let me go on and on about how the societal pressures of motherhood on women in their 20s and 30s were ridiculous and listen to my feminist rants and my Gloria Steinem quotes about how I was never having a child, not ever for any reason possible would I become a mother. “I told her that there wasn’t anything in the world you loved more than family and those kids were family. Well that Ellery was family, they weren’t even pregnant with Axel yet.”

“They are my family. They are my universe. I always thought all of you were crazy about the ‘it’s different when they are yours’ bullshit. I get it now. You know how much I hate admitting that you are right. But you were so right. They aren’t even mine and it’s different.”

“They are yours. Ellie calls you Mom. Axel’s first word was Mama and he said it to you. You didn’t just get handed Sam and Michael’s kids, you essentially got handed their lives just without a partner to do it all. You opted to sell the LA house for obvious reasons, but you could’ve kept this place and stayed in the city. You’re still dealing with everything that weekend thrust upon you. Getting kids and PTSD in a weekend is no fucking cake walk.” I had been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder shortly after they died. Seeing their house when it was still a crime scene with evidence markers, crime scene tape, and just about every horrific thing your mind can come up with if you’ve ever watch an episode of Law and Order. Then being the one to identifying their bodies because Sam’s parents weren’t in LA yet and I wasn’t sure Jane and Robert could handle doing that. I definitely didn’t handle it well, but I wanted to save them that pain. Taking part in planning the double funeral of my two best friends was so hard I wanted the San Andreas fault to open up and swallow me whole. Then becoming a Mom, that wasn’t something I’d ever even imagined being possible. It was a lot in the span of about four days and had left me a mess. A year’s worth of weekly therapy and I was doing a lot better though I still wasn’t great and obviously still dealt with residual trauma, like my nightmares. “I don’t blame you for moving here.”

“Seriously? You’ve been mad at me for 11 months for moving.”

“I know and I still am, but for purely selfish reasons. I miss having one night a week where I got to leave my kids with my husband and have dinner with my sister. I miss that on Saturdays in the summer we’d all somehow end up at Dad’s to swim without planning it and we wouldn’t go home until I had to put the kids in bed on Sunday night. I miss that if I wanted to see you that it was a short drive and you didn’t just exist on the screen of my phone. I miss having you at soccer games and dance recitals. I miss our coffee dates in the middle of a work day. I miss our brunches with way too many mimosas. I just miss you, a lot.”

“I miss you too.”

“I do also know that you bringing the kids here was probably the best decision for you and those babies. It gave you a chance to remove yourself and the kids from the immediate aftermath of the nightmare we all lived through. You didn’t have to run into friends at Whole Foods who look at you with sad eyes and try to pretend like it didn’t happen. Trust me. I’ve gotten those looks when I run into your friends. They ask how you are doing, some ask how the kids are, they all pretend that you didn’t become a mother because some crazed maniac murdered your best friends. It fucking sucks and every time I get in the car and cry about it I am just so thankful it wasn’t you in the store and that it was me.”

“The few times I’ve been back in LA that’s happened. I miss Los Angeles like crazy sometimes but honestly not running into people who know me has been nice. That happened once here. It was over winter, I ran into someone from college at the grocery store, they were here on a family vacation. It was awkward but it was only once. Los Angeles feels like a small fucking town now because I literally can’t go anywhere when I’m home without running into someone.”

“If you still lived there I think it would be easier but you’re starting to get happy here. Is Jeremy part of that?”

“I mean I haven’t known him that long. But having another adult human to talk to is really nice. I mean I see Jane and Robert, which is nice. But it’s still kind of awkward. I don’t think there will ever be a time that I talk to them when it isn’t 100% about the kids or how they are doing without Sam. Robert isn’t sure he wants to go to LA for the trial. Jane is going, she’s staying at my condo. Until there’s an answer to that and closure I don’t think they will every move through the stages of grief. While I still miss them every day I had to get to the point where I didn’t lay in bed crying every night because Sam and Michael were gone. I had to take care of the kids.”

“How often do you see them?”

“Once a month when I drop the kids off at their house. Which I really need to start catching a plane to LA for those weekends every month. Last month when they were gone wrecked me. Savannah spent the weekend with the dude she’d been seeing. Being in this house when it was completely silent was too much.”

“Maybe that will be different now that you have someone in your life that isn’t Savannah or the kids.” My sister shrugged. I knew she was happy to see that I’d put myself out there to even attempt to build relationships here. Even if it was just a new friend.

“Maybe, I don’t know. He’s going back to LA next weekend for a while. His ex-wife lives there and they share custody differently when school isn’t in session. So it’s not like I really need to be concerned about it. He’s going to leave and I’ll be here.”

“Well you’ve been talking about coming home for the trial. Maybe you do that. It gets you to LA for longer than a few days. Bring the kids back home for a while. Relax. Get some sun. Give me my sister back for a while.”

“I mean it will be hard to relax considering I’ll be there for a murder trial. Sort of puts a damper on a vacation.”

“But if you come back for a couple weeks or a month it will only hopefully be like a week of it. Plus we can do Ellery’s birthday in LA.”

“I’ll think about it.” She sighed. “Just finish getting ready. I know you brought your makeup over here so you could have an excuse to spend time with me this morning. So just do your makeup and let me do mine. And don’t sigh at me about this.”

“I just miss you and would love to have you home for part of the summer.”

“Like I said. I’ll think about it.” We finished getting ready both eventually drying our hair and attempting to curl it. Watching her in the mirror next to me made me laugh inside. She was who taught me how to do my makeup and do my hair. Our motions were almost identical. The only difference was her hair was much shorter than mine and I always settled for a more subtle makeup look than she did.

“Good morning, girls,” Mandi said as she walked into my room.

“We’re in the bathroom,” I yelled back.

“You both look beautiful this morning.” She sat in the chair. She was fully dressed. Her hair perfectly curled and makeup perfectly done. “Charlie, you might want to put some more clothes on.” I was in a pair of booty shorts and a t-shirt that I only slept in.

“I’m gonna put clothes on but since you two have been secretive about what we are doing today I hadn’t picked out clothes yet. I know I’ll need to be dressed a little nicer for our dinner tonight.”

“No, you won’t. We will just be eating here,” Mandi said. “Your Dad wants to do homemade pizza night like we always used to do when you guys were kids.”

“That sounds perfect. So we’ll need to go to a grocery store at some point today. Start setting this place for everything this weekend.” I could tell Frankie was already building a grocery list in her head.

“Do you know how many people will be at dinner tomorrow night?” Mandi asked.

“Umm. Our family which is 11, Jeremy and Ava make 13, Alex’s family makes 18, Jane and Robert are 20, plus their family which makes 23. I’m prepared for 25 in case Sam’s cousin brings her boyfriend. When I talked to her last weekend she wasn’t sure. I also wanted to make sure that if Savannah wanted to bring her boyfriend that she could.”

“And Saturday?” I looked to Frankie for an answer; she’d been the one keeping track of that.

“We estimated like 35ish but it could get up to 50 depending on if assholes that didn’t RSVP showed up,” Frankie answered.

“50 people in my house? Who the fuck did you and Alex invite?”

“The list we agreed on. Alex had a few extras she thought might want to be here. I thought she cleared that with you.”

“Of course she didn’t,” I replied. “What was the total list you sent out? I got at least 15 or 20 emails or texts from people who couldn’t come.”

“I think the total was like 80.” Frankie shrugged.

“I hate this. I don’t want that many people in my house. I don’t have the space for that many people in my house. I don’t like being around that many people unless I absolutely have to for work or the kids.”

“You’ll be fine,” Mandi said. “Your Dad and I will be here to take care of you.”

“Beyond the whole ‘I don’t like people’ aspect of this, my house is not big enough for that many people. My kids will be completely overwhelmed by that many people. And the last thing they need is people crying to them about how their Mom and Dad died.”

“It’ll be okay. Most of it is outside,” Frankie said. She could sense I wasn’t just anxious but I was angry. I was trying not to blow up because I knew it wasn’t completely her fault but she and Alex had invited all of these people to my house when I really just wanted a small gathering of the closest friends and family. I didn’t need a large party of people.

“Alright girls, let’s calm down. How about we leave the house for a little while?” Mandi suggested. “We can go get mani/pedis and maybe grab lunch somewhere. Just the three of us, hell the four of us. Let’s grab Savannah.”

“Are we sure we can leave all five kids with Dad, Ryan, and Tony?” I asked.

“They’ll be fine,” Frankie said. “The three of them on the five of the kids will be fine. The girls will probably all end up playing with Barbies or something and it’s not like Ryan hasn’t changed his fair share of diapers in the last decade.”

It didn’t take long before we were finished getting ready. I threw on a pair of jeans that had probably too many holes in them We kidnapped Savannah, left instructions on feeding lunch to the kids with my Dad and brothers and we were out the door. We all climbed into my Jeep and took off towards town. I’d opted to leave the GLS at home in case the men decided to take the children anywhere. They’d at least mostly fit in it. We grabbed coffee from my favorite coffee shop before heading into the salon and being seated for pedicures. It was actually really nice to have time today with just Mandi, Frankie, and Savannah. I rarely ever got girl time that didn’t involve the 5-year-old girl in my life. I felt my phone vibrate in my lap and picked it up to see a text message from Jeremy.

Good morning, Gorgeous.

Oh. Gorgeous huh? One date and we go from you calling me Charlie to pet names.

I mean, you are gorgeous so it’s more like an accurate description than a pet name.

How did you sleep?

As good as one can when sharing their bed with their older sister. I told you she’d sleep in there. Kept me up WAY past my bedtime to try and get details on what last night was and who you are in my life.

Better you than me. I came home to two very whiny dogs.

Bring them today as long as they promise not to maul my cats.

Harrison could kick the shit out of either of my dogs.

True story. He’s a chonky fucker.

Chonky?

Yes. Chonky. If I call him fat or chunky I’m shaming him. He’s chonky. It’s a term of endearment in the cat mom community.

You are one of the strangest people I know.

So what time do you want me to come over today?

Well, right now I’m getting a pedicure with Mandi, Frankie, and Savannah. We are going to also get manicures and then lunch. So I can text you when we are done. I mean you’re welcome to go over there now if you want to hang out with my Dad and brothers. I’m sure they would be at least half as annoying as the women are right now.

Why are they annoying?

This is the line of questioning I’ve received today:

So was last night a date? How long have you and Jeremy known each other? How did you meet? Did he kiss you at the end of the night and if so was he a good kisser?

I’d continue but my sister is starting to ask questions that I’m essentially answering with the middle finger.

Okay. Now I need to know those.

My sister is nosy. She wants to know if you’re a good kisser, which I didn’t disclose that I’d kissed you so she’s making assumptions. They are correct, but no less they are assumptions.

She’s funny and she will definitely make a great lawyer if she decides to practice and not stay at her non-profit.

For the sake of the world, I hope that this is just so she has another set of letters after her name and not so she can practice law. She’s terrifying.

So did you answer any of the questions?

Ugh you are just as bad as they are. I did finally confirm that last night was a date. Frankie started bugging me about it last night when we went to bed and all morning.

No answer on if I’m a good kisser or not.?

The answer was a middle finger.

You’re cute when you’re angry. You’re tiny and filled with rage.

You are barely taller than me! So just shut it.

Okay. I’ve been caught. Frankie says hi but if I don’t stop texting you she’s stealing my phone.

Text or call me when you’re on your way home. I’ll come over to meet you there.

Okay.

For real. If you’re bored just go over to my place. My Dad and Ryan are harmless. Hell my Dad will probably end up making you talk music for hours on end. The kids are all at home with them.

Not worried about me around your Dad without you?

Nah. I like you. I’m just refusing to give information to the women because it drives them crazy. My whole plan was for everyone to get to know you today.

I’m glad you like me. I like you too.

And you are a good kisser. So live with that knowledge while I refuse to share it.

You’re a good kisser too. I sort of regretted not staying last night by the time I got home.

You should learn to trust me. I’m always right.

You also have such a fucking ego. Enjoy your pampering, and I’ll see you in a few hours.

“You’re so smiley,” Savannah said. “I can’t even tell you how happy that makes me.”

“So, since she won’t spill everything, what can you tell me?” Frankie was determined to learn what she could about Jeremy’s role in my life.

“Umm, Jeremy’s daughter Ava and Ellery are best friends. He’s a great dad, super-nice, and has been a lot of fun to have around. Charlie is smiling more but I don’t think it’s just Jeremy. I think she’s starting to settle into life. It’s been a year. The first year of anything is hard right? College, post-college, marriage, kids, or at least that’s what I’ve been told. She’s survived a year in the worst hell anyone could imagine. She’s got the Mom thing down, well as much as one can. She deserves to get her personal life back to where it should be. Dating is a normal thing and she perhaps lucked out on her first try.” I smiled and knew I was blushing.

“Okay, okay! I told you! It was a date and he’s a great guy. He asked me out weeks ago and I was terrified that I wasn’t supposed to be dating so I tried to avoid it. I ran out of excuses last night and he planned a really fantastic first date. We’ve become good friends. He makes living here feel a whole lot less lonely. But it was ONE DATE I have no idea whether I got lucky on my first try. I mean if I were him I would run for the fucking hills. His date ended by meeting the woman’s ENTIRE FAMILY. Okay, not entire but basically my entire family. He should run far, far away.” By now we were sitting and getting our nails done while our toenails dried.

“But you were giggling at your phone which usually means you are texting with a guy you find cute,” Frankie said. “You’ve been like that since you’d hide on a laptop on AOL Instant Messenger while trying to come up with your moody lyrics to use as away messages. So you clearly hope you got lucky on your first try. And from what I saw of him last night, he seems amazing.”

“He is,” Savannah said. “She didn’t even hesitate to tell him about Sam and Michael or how she became a mother.”

“Seriously?” Mandi asked.

“It felt like he wouldn’t judge me and maybe he’d have some insight on the single parenting stuff I’m doing. He asked if I planned on having any other kids, I said I hadn’t planned on having them and life was too hard with two little ones on my own. He asked if their dad was in the picture and I just told him what happened.”

“Everything?”

“I mean I waited to tell him about the PTSD and the nightmares until we’d known each other longer than a couple of hours, but yeah, he knows everything. He hasn’t been scared off by any of it. He’s watched me cry. He’s gotten a phone call or two in the middle of the night when I woke up with a nightmare and couldn’t fall back asleep. He offered to stay with me this weekend because he was worried about the nightmares. They’ve been happening more frequently.”

“And you’ve told your therapist?” Mandi asked.

“I have. She wants me to take some sleeping medication for it but I’m too scared I won’t wake up. At some point I’ll feel like I can take it but right now everything just seems like too much.”

“Well, I think he sounds like a fantastic person. And everything you’ve told me about him makes it seem like he’s almost too good to be true.” I’d disclosed a little about him to my step-mom over the last couple of weeks. My sister, however, knew nothing. I didn’t want her to start to question me about him when there was nothing to question me about.

“How long have you known?” My sister turned to our stepmom with the look in her eyes that told us she wasn’t going to take any hiding from the questions.

“She text me about him the first day of summer break. It was the day Tony drove out here.”

“I was texting you that day, and you mentioned nothing.”

“You’re right. I didn’t. It was the first day he and I really spent together and you were trying to lecture me about letting our brother run away from home to live with me.”

“Well, you were.” She had to be right. Always. Even when she knew she wasn’t right, she would find a way to refuse to admit to Tony and me that we were right.

“Tony is doing great living with me. He’s not sleeping the summer away. Most mornings he’s in the house before I even come down for breakfast. He’s been working with me on the score I’m writing and has been a huge help with that. I was stuck for so long. He stole the copy of the film from me one night, watched it twice before bed and then came into my studio the next morning, sat down at my piano and fixed a song I’d been essentially screaming into the abyss about for weeks. I submitted the first draft of the score yesterday. I was running behind and got it sent in a week early. I may never let Tony leave my house.”

“He’s really been loving that he can just create with you every day. He sounds happy every time he calls home. As a Mom, that’s the only thing you can want. Which by the way, Frankie, when your sister calls home, she sounds happy too. So lay off it for a while. She has enough to worry about; we don’t need to add to it.”

“I’m just so confused by why everyone else knew but me. Well, Ryan too. Even Dad knew.”

“Frankie, you refer to my ex as Dickhead. Patrick didn’t do anything wrong, and you call him Dickhead. To his face even.”

“Well, he is,” she defended.

“But he isn’t. If the situation was reversed I would’ve left him. We had agreed that babies were completely out of the picture and marriage was a maybe. I broke our agreement and while he understood completely why I broke it, I also understood why he left. He never wanted kids of his own or anyone else’s so his girlfriend/roommate suddenly having a 4-year-old and an infant were dealbreakers. I will never be angry at him for what he did. It’s time for you to stop being angry about it.” I rarely spoke like this to Frankie, especially when there were people around us. “He didn’t do anything wrong. He did what was best for himself and in the end what was best for me and the kids. He wouldn’t have been happy which would have ended up making me miserable and I wouldn’t have been here for Ellie to meet Ava and you wouldn’t be grilling me about the first date I went on. So in fact, you should send him a fucking thank you note.” Mandi and Savannah both started to laugh as Frankie sat there with her mouth open. She was at a loss for words, a true rarity.

We finished with our nails and went to one of my favorite lunch spots. Lunch was much more normal conversation. We talked about the weekend ahead, family, and completely avoided the topic of my love life. It was a welcome break for a little over an hour. Once we were in the car, I quickly sent a text to Jeremy telling him we were on our way home. I pulled up the driveway to see his truck already there. I laughed a little on the inside knowing he probably had gotten bored and come over earlier because I hadn’t gotten a response from him. We climbed out and went into the house which seemed oddly silent for having four adults and five children in it.

“Where are they?” Savannah asked.

“I’m assuming the basement but the silence has me scared,” I replied. My house was only silent in the middle of the night when I was the only person awake. I put my purse down and headed downstairs. As soon as I made it to the bottom landing someone grabbed me lifting me up off the ground as I screamed. “What the fuck?”

“Hi,” Jeremy replied as I stopped moving and realized I’d been thrown over his shoulder and was now staring directly at his ass.

“Hi. That’s all you have to say. You just scared the shit out of me, and all you have to say is hi.” He flipped me back, so I was on my feet in front of him. I heard the three women I’d just had lunch with laughing along with the sound of my brother-in-law’s incredibly distinct laugh.

“Umm, how was lunch?” I balled my hand into a fist and punched him in the arm before he grabbed my arm and pulled me into a hug. “You look beautiful and smell really good,” he whispered into my ear.

“Lunch was fine. Now why on Earth is my house this quiet? This house is never quite.”

“Well, the big kids are all in the theater watching a movie. Axel is upstairs taking a nap.” He waived the baby monitor in front of me so I could see that he was listening to hear if he woke up. “And the grown-up kids are all in your studio. So it’s quiet because we’ve got things handled.” He smiled the cutest smile at me, and honestly, all I wanted to do was kiss him but realizing that a portion of my family was standing with us, I held back.

“Did you put Axel in bed?”

“I did. I got here as the kids were getting finished with lunch. He looked exhausted and needed cleaned up before I put him down. He and I are becoming besties.”

“You’re too sweet. Thank you.” It was in that moment that I realized we were holding hands. I almost yanked mine away but realized that I didn’t care.

“What movie did the kids turn on?” Savannah asked.

“Trolls,” Ryan replied. “Carter got outvoted by all of the girls. Poor guy wanted to watch one of the Cars movies.”

“Ellery is OBSESSED with Trolls. I can’t even tell you how many times a week we have a dance party to that Justin Timberlake song. She’s been stuck on it for what seems like her entire life,” I replied.

“Carter will be fine. You know all three of the girls are obsessed with it, he’s seen it enough times. Plus he knows he can come in here and read his comics. We bought him a bunch of new ones and a new graphic novel right before we left town so he’d keep himself occupied when he needed a break from everyone,” my sister interjected while she rolled her eyes a little. Carter was a lot like me. We could both handle crowds until we couldn’t handle them anymore and we needed quiet alone time. It often drove Frankie crazy how much alike he and I were. When we had family functions a lot of the time the two of us would disappear and they’d find us snuggled up in a chair together with a blanket and books. We were the nerds of the family.

“Your Dad told me when you got home, you were supposed to come to the studio,” Jeremy said.

“If Dad is playing with your instruments, I’m out.” Frankie was laughing. “I’m going to go watch Trolls with the kids.”

“I’ve got to go get some laundry and homework done before my family gets in town tomorrow,” Savannah said. “I’ll keep an eye on Axel too.” She held her hand open for Jeremy to pass the baby monitor to her. My sister and step-mom headed to the theater, where all of the kids were watching the movie. Jeremy pulled me into a tight hug once we both realized Ryan was out of the room.

“Sorry about earlier. I just thought it would be funny.”

“It was funny but also scared the crap out of me.” He leaned forward to kiss me. “So when did you get here?”

“When you were still getting your pedicure and told me to come over here if I was bored. I text Tony and he said that they were feeding the kids and breaking into the instruments when you were out of the house. I thought a good way to get to know your Dad and brother-in-law without you was to come over and bond over music.”

“It is always the best way,” I replied before kissing him again. “You also put my baby to sleep.”

“I did. He’s too fucking cute to resist. Fell asleep in my arms after I got him cleaned up and in pajamas.”

“Were you singing to him? That’s my trick. He hates the rocking chair which is honestly the worst thing to have happen with a kid who is a chunk like him. But if he can feel a warm body and you sing to him he’s out after a few little dances around his bedroom.”

“I did sing to him.”

“What did you pick?” I wanted to imagine in my head what it sounded like when he sang to my little dude. I could picture it and what I saw him my head was perfect. Mainly because Jeremy showed up today in jeans, a white t-shirt andgrey zip-up hoodie.

“I noticed you had song lyrics on his wall.” I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. In our final visit here together, Sam and I decorated Axel’s nursery. She was seven months pregnant, incredibly bitchy and knew any moment she’d be unable to travel. She kept fearing he’d come early because Ellery had come a few weeks early and had a short stay in the NICU. Sam was terrified that would happen again. Axel however came a week late and was the fattest happiest little baby.

She’d been unable to decide what to do with his nursery in Tahoe. In LA everything was pristine and a neutral color palette to match the modern farm house decor. Tahoe was harder because the house oozed personality. Deciding on the name Axel of course made Michael want to do every bad Guns N’ Roses themed idea he could come up with. He wasn’t allowed on the trip, in fact it was just a girls trip. He kept Ellery at home with him and we spent a full weekend in Tahoe just the two of us, Alex had been unable to come because of work. We laid on the floor of the room the first day throwing ideas out until one finally hit. We used the best of our art skills to paint a mural on the wall that looked reminiscent of the area the house was in. Lots of trees and a lake below them. In her perfect calligraphy Sam traced lyrics into the mural and filled them in. It looked like a greeting card or a notebook you’d end up paying $20 for at some fancy boutique or Anthropologie and then fear writing in because nothing was worthy of the notebook.

“Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you. And everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow,” Jeremy softly sang into my ear as he held me in another hug.

“It was cheesy. It was an idea we saw on Pinterest. Coldplay was this weird love we shared. We saw them in concert so many times. We ridiculously took trips to under the false pretenses to visit my Mom so we could see them in London. Michael wasn’t really a fan but he allowed us to have that moment, though he told us we should’ve put the lyrics to ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’ instead. He was outvoted 2-1.” Jeremy laughed. “If you’re ever in his room when it’s completely dark outside, wait a minute in the room after turning the lights off. We painted glow in the dark stars all over the sky of the mural and the ceiling.”

“That’s awesome. Though I would’ve totally been on board with a Guns N’ Roses mural.”

“Of course you would.” I kissed him again and just hugged him to me as I breathed my way through the memory I was in the middle of reliving.

“We should go back with your Dad and brothers. They will get suspicious.”

“They definitely will. Especially considering Frankie has had ample interrogation time today, and Tony has gotten none. He was so pissed last night that she wouldn’t let him come in my room with us as everyone headed to bed. He wanted to know how our date went.” Jeremy laughed before grabbing my hand and walking with me towards my studio.

“He did ask me how it went when it was just the two of us for a minute. I told him that it went great, and I was glad you finally weakened to my ways.” I laughed at him. “He said he was glad you might have a life finally.”

“Okay, this idea of you and my brother becoming friends is maybe not okay.” He laughed at me as he opened the door, pulling me into the studio. “So, what of my instruments have you destroyed?”

“None of them,” Dad said. “But when you moved you took some of my favorites and I missed them.” I loved seeing my Dad comfortably sitting with a guitar in his lap while Tony sat at the drums and Ryan at the piano.

“They’ve missed you too. I mean, you could come visit your kid once in a while.” I winked at him.

“Oh my middle child, my smartass and the one who ended up with my humor how I’ve missed you.” I sat down on the couch next to my Dad as Jeremy sat down in the comfy chair in the room. I rested my head on my Dad’s shoulder. I took a deep breath, breathing in his cologne. The same cologne he’d worn my entire life. It was Polo and came in a green bottle with a gold logo on it. It was the smell of comfort and safety.

“I would’ve much rather stayed home with all of you. They made me get all girly.” I held my hand up, showing my brand new, very fake nails. My rebellious act in being forced to do this was that they are pitch black. I always had incredibly short nails; it was truly an occupational hazard. They claimed that I needed to appear a little more ‘refined’ this weekend. I agreed if for no reason other than occasionally having long nails was fun and maybe they’d make me appear sexy or something. Honestly, I had no idea why I agreed to it, but I did.

“Can you still play with those claws?” Jeremy asked.

“Yes, they frequently force me into this situation. I learned quickly.” I reached for my Black Strat plugging it into the amp next to me. Without even a moment of hesitation I went into the opening guitar riff of “Sweet Child O’ Mine” causing Jeremy to laugh loudly as Tony started in on drums and Ryan stood up to do his best Axel Rose impression. It was obvious he’d immediately fit in with his wife’s misfit siblings the first time she brought him home. She’d been worried we’d embarrass her. My Dad sat back laughing and watching all of us. I knew this made him happy. This was what home felt like for us, I knew by the end of the night we’d get enough alcohol in my sister that she’d even join in. Normally Mandi would pick us over a movie but she hadn’t gotten time with Ellery in ages so I was sure she was just trying to soak up time with her granddaughter before the rest of the weekend came and she had to share her.

“Is there anything you can’t play?” Jeremy asked. Over the last few weeks, he’d discovered that I could typically play a song by ear. He’d played a few of the songs he was working on for me and I’d picked them up quickly. I had yet to figure out if it made him mad that I could play them without him teaching me or giving me sheet music or if he thought it was hot that this woman he was interested in could join in on one of his songs without lifting a finger.

“Yes, there’s a lot. In fact the solo in this song is one I’ve never been able to figure it out and it pisses me off. I’ve spent SO long trying. I hate it. Tony can play it. Ryan can play it.”

“I can play it,” Dad interrupted. “t pisses her off when I can play something better than her.”

“You can’t, but let yourself believe that, Pops.”

“You are still unfairly talented,” Jeremy said.

“Oh, it’s fair. I had no social life because of this.”

“She lies.” Of course, it would be my little brother that revealed my secret. “She had a social life, but it was all with other music nerds. She tried to be in a band, but it was all guys, and Dad put a stop to that quickly.”

“She was young and one of them had tattoos. I am a Dad.” Everyone in the room laughed. Dad was extremely protective of his girls. I had tried to join a band in high school with some of my guy friends and one of the guys in the band was 20 or 21 at the time. He did have a right to be concerned.

“I have tattoos,” Jeremy said. I started to laugh.

“So does she,” Dad replied. “Eventually, I lost all control of her.”

“Eventually, every kid grows up, Dad. Just wait someday I’ll call you screaming because Ellery has a tattoo.”

“Don’t put that image in my head.” He shook his head, causing all of us to laugh. “Did you ladies go to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner?”

“No, I did however order groceries to be delivered later today. It’s way more convenient. I have also had a nervous breakdown in the grocery store so I try to avoid it during daylight hours.” I laughed at myself as I saw Jeremy’s eyes get big. “You would’ve had one too. It was like rush hour grocery shopping on a Sunday. Elle had the flu and we were getting stuff for her so I could get her home, get her medication and put her in bed. She puked on me, herself, her brother and our groceries from where she was standing in the cart’s main area at her insistence. Then…her brother projectile vomited on me and a grocery shelf. Worst motherhood moment of my life.”

“You called Frankie bawling because you almost threw up in the car on the way home.” Ryan started to laugh. It was funny now, but it wasn’t when it happened.

“All three of us were covered in vomit. It was so horrible. Frankie had literally left the day before because she’d been here for WAY too long and with Ellie starting to get a fever we didn’t want her catching something and taking it home to the kids.”

“She was of course too late,” Ryan said looking at Jeremy who was the only person in the room that didn’t know the story. My family clearly all shared everything with each other and the rest of the universe with ease. “She was about half-hour from LA when she had to pull over and throw up. She barely made it into the bathroom in the house. By the end of the next day all five of us were sick.”

“It was horrible. I made Savannah wear a mask and threatened a hazmat suit. She was the only one who didn’t get sick. Even I was throwing up by the end of the day. It was Ellery’s payback for making her go to a some open play thing to make friends that Frankie found online in some Mom group. She did not want to go and she came home sick. She did not have to go back to it.” It was a little over an hour that we were having our own little jam session before the alert went off on my phone that the grocery delivery was at the gate. I went up to let them in and get the groceries. As I made it to the living room I realized Jeremy was on my heels.

“Need some help?” He knew I wouldn’t need it but also seemed to know a moment alone would be nice. I nodded as I walked to the door I’d directed the delivery driver and he helped unload the groceries into the butler’s pantry that was by the dining room table. Jeremy and I then quickly moved the groceries to the kitchen and started to put them away. He’d been here enough that he almost knew where everything in my kitchen went without needing guidance. “You okay?” He’d let me get most of the groceries away while being quiet. He seemed to know that occasionally I needed to say nothing and to let me do that.

“I’m okay. Just a lot of memories rushing back today. It was a year ago today that I had my last really good day with Sam. We sat in the studio, we didn’t have work to do because she was technically on maternity leave with Axel because he was only a few weeks old. But she wanted out of the house so she took Ellery to a friend’s house for a play date and left Michael and Axel at home by themselves. We laid in the studio, listening to our favorite songs, playing music together and just having a really great best friend day. We recorded some of it for shits and giggles. I haven’t listened to it in a year. I have it but I’m afraid to. We weren’t singing anything we wrote, we were singing our favorite songs and being goofballs.” I took a deep breath. “And tomorrow. Tomorrow is their wedding anniversary and it will be a year since I saw my best friend alive. A year since I hugged her. A year since I told her I loved her and her reply with her usual ‘of course you love me, I’m fucking amazing’ and then she’d pause and say ‘I love you too, Chuck.’ A year since I saw her beautiful smile light up her face when she looked at her kids or her husband. A year since I told Michael to remember how lucky he was to marry her and get me as his bonus wife. Tomorrow is their 8th anniversary. Sam’s lucky number was 8.”

“I’m staying here tonight,” Jeremy said as he pulled me into a hug as the tears started to fill my eyes and I felt the lump in my throat that had lived there for the last 364 days.

“You have to get Ava in the morning.”

“I can get up early and leave. But I know that you need someone around tonight, and rather than letting that someone be your sister, I’d like it to be me. If you’re okay with that.” I nodded as I took a deep breath and felt a tear slide down my face. “Do you have room for Ava and I both tomorrow?”

“Of course. The girls would love to have Ava as part of their sleepover all weekend. I was going to suggest it whether you decided to stay here or not. The stuff will go late both nights, and I want you here with me. Ava will fit in perfectly with the three girls. We’ll have three boys here too. It will be a houseful. You and Ava will be the perfect addition.” He pressed his lips into my forehead.

“I think tonight you should show me all of your tattoos. I was trying to be a gentleman our first day hanging out, and while I saw some of the tattoos because you were in a bathing suit, it was high waisted, so I have a feeling I missed a few.” I laughed. It was the perfect thing to break my mood and make me smile.

“If you’re lucky, I’ll let you see them. Though I know, there is one you haven’t seen that is easy to spot.”

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow at me. I pulled my arms back from around his chest as he kept his around me. I took my Apple Watch off, there on my wrist, in beautiful dainty handwriting, all lowercase letters, were the words ‘time makes you bolder.’ “Interesting.”

“It’s my Mom’s handwriting.”

“Like Stephanie? Your biological Mom?” I nodded. “When did you get that?”

“It the winter after I turned 28. I was struggling. I was working for a composer occasionally and getting a handful of really small jobs, nothing anyone would even really even know was me or ever see. So I disappeared for a few months to London to see if I could find work there. My Mom was still living there and Sam was there, she thought she was still in love with some guy she met when we went to stay with my Mom for spring break our senior year of college that she moved to London for. She was working in a coffee shop and playing open mic nights when she could. My Mom’s name is Stephanie. Most people call her that, it’s what she goes by professionally, Stephanie Rossi. But at some point in her life my Mom decided she wanted to be Stevie Nicks, she lucked out that her parents named her Stephanie. When they were still young and in love my Dad started calling her Stevie and it stuck. Honestly, Frankie and I both call her Stevie. I can’t remember the last time I called her mom.”

“So the tattoo?”

“Well, I’d been struggling with not doing what I really wanted to with music. I was considering that I’d gone the wrong direction and should maybe produce or focus on songwriting for pop and rock music instead of composing. Thought about putting a band together. I was lost, thus ending up roaming around England and Europe with my Mom. She understood how it felt to feel as lost as I was, fuck she left her entire family because she needed to chase her dream. I got my first big offer which got me to go home. I wasn’t going home to work for anyone else anymore. I was going to do the unthinkable and if necessary live off my trust fund until I was where I wanted to be, I was going to give it a year. Mom was so excited to see me make this GIANT bold decision. Sam realized it was the decision she needed to make and literally packed her bags in a split second to catch a plane with me. But the night before we left my Mom and I went to a tattoo shop and I got this. It’s from “Landslide.” Time makes you bolder, even children get older and I’m getting older too. My wrist clearly didn’t have space for all of it so Mom decided it should just be time makes you bolder.”

“And it’s made you bolder.”

“WAY bolder. Before my Dad told me to take time to go see my Mom I was positive I’d done everything wrong and should’ve gone to law school. I told Dad I was considering that I might need to work at his firm if I ever wanted to have a real-life and real job. He didn’t want to see that and knew Stevie would take care of any crazy ideas I had about being a real grown-up. I was their dreamer.”

“Do they get along now?” Jeremy asked.

“Yeah, fairly well. Things with Stevie were always hard for all of us. But she always says the one thing in her life that wasn’t a mistake was giving my Dad his girls. Even if it wasn’t the life she imagined for herself, it was the perfect life for him. She and Mandi is a different situation. She sort of threw us on Mandi without asking. Vinnie got a say in it and didn’t really give his wife an option. I mean, it’s better now but still not great. Small doses, and they are good.”

“She still isn’t coming this weekend?”

“No,” I said as I put my watch back on. “She’s off somewhere on a shoot and loving it. She called me yesterday morning to see if I had changed my mind and she offered to catch a flight. While it would be nice to have her here, it would just make everything worse. My Mom and Sam’s parents don’t get along well, which makes the whole fiasco of the funeral a worse thing than it could’ve been.”

“Why don’t they get along?”

“Well Sam moved to London at 24 and because moving directly in with a guy she fell in love with in the span of a week was a bad idea she crashed at my Mom’s place. Well her parents thought that she did. She really lived with the guy. But she told them she was moving in with my Mom. They thought my flighty mother had convinced their daughter to runaway after a guy that she introduced her to. It was a mess.” I laughed. “Stevie didn’t tell her to run away for love. I mean Stevie loves love and is always waiting for her next romance. But she wouldn’t encourage it with anyone else. Hell she tried to convince me that moving in with Patrick after 3 years was too fast. But because of that she and I both felt it would be best for her not to be here. She’ll be back in LA this summer and either come stay with me and the kids for a while or I’ll go home, stay with Dad and spend time with her.”

“That’s good.” He hugged me tighter again. “I wish I could hit fast forward on this weekend for you. Ryan said you had a meltdown on Frankie this morning because of the number of people that she and Alex invited.”

“Yeah, they invited 80 people. It’s possible that Saturday there will be 50 people in my fucking house. I am so NOT prepared for that.”

“That is a lot of people. But we will get you through it. Sunday will be a day at the pool with only the closest family. Monday when they are all gone I’ll just spoil you and let you sleep. Either I can help Savannah with all of the kids or we can bribe her and Tony to watch them so you can recharge and I can take care of you.”

“Are you real?”

“Yes?” He seemed confused by my question.

“I will absolutely need to recharge.”

“I know. Too much action is gonna stress you out.”

“Right. Well, I spent years with Patrick, who would always be mad that after a vacation or holiday or birthday party or work event or really anything, I’d need like two days of silence and sleep before I could be a functioning human again. He hated it. I finally started letting him stay at our place and would check into a hotel for a couple of days and sleep.”

“That’s odd, especially considering it was your condo.”

“Right? Okay so maybe he was a Dickhead sometimes. But you for real seem like you’re fictional if you’re going to let me have a day of silence after this.”

“I just want to make sure that you feel your best. Especially since I leave next weekend.”

“Don’t talk about that. I don’t want to think about it. We are so new if we are even a we, I don’t know. You leaving already sucks.” I pouted. He pouted back at me.

“You know if you hadn’t blown me off for two weeks we wouldn’t be so new, we’d just be mostly new.”

“You’re right but also shut up. I had my reasons.”

“I know, and I fully support them. You needed to get to the point where you felt okay attempting to be more than just their Mom. I get it.” I rested my head on his chest. “Do you want to go back downstairs?” I shook my head no.

“It’s quiet right now. I like that it’s quiet. Once they are all around again it won’t be quiet and I won’t be able to stand here like this with you. I’ll have to go back to basically pretending there’s an invisible forcefield around you that if I touch you I’ll get electrocuted.”

“Except you don’t. They all know we’ve been on a date. They will all know I’m sleeping here tonight and no offense, I’m not sleeping out at Tony’s.” I laughed. “I mean I can sleep on the couch in your room if you don’t want me in bed with you but I’m sleeping in your room. Maybe I’ll get to be the lucky one to stay up all night with you.”

“Maybe you will.” I stayed quiet for a minute as he swayed back and forth with me still in his arms. It was like I did sometimes when the kids cried. I’d try to soothe them with movement. It was working. I was fairly certain if I could figure out how to balance and not fall over I could fall asleep in his arms like this. “I’m sorry I hesitated.”

“Don’t apologize.”

“No, I need to. There’s a lot in my life that I’ve been afraid of the last year. I shouldn’t have been afraid of this.” I looked up at him and smiled before pressing my lips into his.

*****AUTHOR'S NOTE*****

First, I apologize for the delay with this chapter. It took much longer to get up than I expected. You may or may not have seen this so I will share a little bit about it again. It was just over two weeks ago that my grandfather passed away. Losing someone is never easy but it made some of this writing feel too real so I had to take a step back last week as we held his funeral and I worked my way through the beginning stages of grief.

Last weekend I started to feel more myself. I got back to work in a normal and productive manner. I work for myself so it was incredibly beneficial to be able to take the time necessary to process, grieve, and do the things I needed to do for myself. My grandfather was a very important person in my life and a huge part of who I am. I am obnoxiously proud of the fact that I am an Italian-American, my grandfather was the youngest son of two Italian immigrants who came to America for the hope of a better life. His father died when he was 18 months old. His mother could not read or write. His house was bilingual, mainly because their Mom struggled with English and her 7 children helped her to learn it based on what they were learning at school. There will likely never be a day in my life that I don't miss him, he was the strongest person I knew. He was 96 years old. He watched his parents, every one of his siblings, their spouses, some nieces and nephews, almost all of his cousins and a good portion of his friends die. But the hardest for him was losing my grandma. She was the center of his universe. I honestly think if he could've had it his way he would've held her hand while she died to help her through the end and then died right there with her. But instead, he lived on, for seven years without her. He missed her every day until he didn't have to miss her anymore. The unique thing for me is one of my friends was one of his nurses. She was able to tell me about her experience with him and the stories he was telling all of the staff about his bride and how he couldn't wait to see her again.

Needless to say, the sadness is still present and the tears still come like a waterfall on occasion, but working Charlie through her grief was honestly a helpful thing. Being able to sink my teeth into a chapter was not only healthy for me, it was freeing. I could take the feelings I have, adjust them for the purpose of how Charlie would feel and go with it. Writing is also my creative outlet. As someone who deals with depression and anxiety in a major, life-altering way my writing helps me to stay sane. So it's been an immense help. And I finally hit a good flow. I already have over 3,000 words of Chapter 11 on the way.

Okay, now about the chapter. I know it's long which most people love and it's maybe got stuff that doesn't seem important to people but I felt like the details about Charlie and who she is were important, especially as this awful anniversary approaches her. The happy memories are sometimes the hardest to face and she's facing them all head-on while still trying to be a good daughter, sister, mother, friend, and who knows maybe at some point be a good girlfriend. Having her family around her makes her feel whole. It's the thing about Italian-American families. We will argue and drive each other crazy but when it comes down to it family comes first and we'd protect them to the end. I know it sounds stereotypical but honestly, growing up in a city with a tight-knit Italian-American community has shown me how true it is. Italians also really know how to hold a grudge but that's for another day, haha. My Dad calls it Italian Alzheimers, they forget everything but the grudge. The closeness of the family and community of Italian-Americans is one of the reasons I'm drawn to writing characters that are part of that community. Also because it's what I know. The traditions, the family, even the arguing, it's my life and while I am not Charlie and don't have a ton in common with her, it's easy to write the interaction of her family. It's also why Everlee from In the Heat of Los Angeles was easy for me to write. There was a bit of a reflection of my family in theirs.

I am enjoying writing the shift in the relationship between Charlie and Jeremy. They are fun to write. They are an interesting couple for me to write. They have so much in common while still being very different from each other. Jeremy is quickly becoming a huge support system for Charlie, which is what she needs. It doesn't hurt that he's easy on the eyes and a good kisser.

As for the news recently about Jeremy. I am an outside observer, a fan. I don't know what is true what isn't true. I believe that cancel culture is toxic, even the law states innocent until proven guilty. I am going to continue this story because the Jeremy I've created is a character I love. If at some time the circumstances regarding the news from this week change, I'll re-evaluate. But for now, we will continue on this Adventure. I hope you are all willing to stick with me.

I'd love to hear what you thought of this chapter, good and bad. It's been a tough few weeks for me so my writing could be completely off of it's normal. Your support, even if it's silent, means a lot but I would really love to hear from you. What intrigues you about this? Why you started reading it and maybe why you're still reading it? If you've read any of my other writing I'd love to hear how you feel about this as it is obviously very different from my past writing.

I am filled with endless gratitude for you all. Thank you for letting me take the time this needed. Hopefully 11 continues on as easily as it has started.

xx. Annie

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